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Jamon PM is Found Guilty of Embezzlement: Refuses to Step Down From Position

Written by: Ally Ma

Simulated Country: Jamon
School: Abbey Park High School
Instructor: Mr. Morgan Lin
Location: Oakville, ON

Live for the People party was elected into power by an overwhelming majority with Mr. Bozor as the leader. At the time, it seemed like a good choice was made and a great man would be leading our country. There were promises of affordable food, healthcare, and education, and support for those who needed it. Who wouldn’t want such a thing?
The citizens of Jamon very quickly found that it was too good to be true. During the Hex auction, instead of buying the hexes of necessities, PM Bozor spent government funds on the A&E hex without even consulting the House. As soon as market opened, one of the first things he did was send all A&E units from the government to himself for nothing in exchange. No other MPs had any knowledge of this. It was later brought to light by our Deputy PM, Mr. Oliver, along with the fact that an education unit was taken too.

PM Bozor was taken to court, and found guilty.
His sentence was only to repay what he had earned by selling the A&E units to the government, and even then it was just a rough estimate, rounded down. Many citizens also voiced their dissent and wishes for him to step down.
However, right after the fall passed, instead of returning the money owed, Mr. Bozor instead took even more from the government, taking all the cash in the account.
This time, he was very quickly caught out by MPs and citizens alike, and returned the money making up the flimsy excuse that he was “borrowing” it. For what, he couldn’t even say.
Although all MPs and many citizens implore Mr. Bozor to call an emergency parliamentary meeting, he refuses. He said, “I’ll just go out with a bang,” and “If I go down I’m taking the government with me.”
In this humble journalist’s opinion, with such a corrupt leader at the head of our country, I can not see our future going anywhere but down in the next year. Our MPs must do everything in their power to keep the Prime Minister in check, and citizens must band together in this time of need until the next election.


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Lizzolandia’s Polling Payoff

Written by: Madeleine Dmen, Antonton Wonton, & Spedmen Migee

Simulated Country: Lizzolandia
School: Harold Panabaker Jr High School
Instructor: Ms. Loretta Lock
Location: Calgary, AB

A landslide victory for Alfred Jiao of the UPP, this result comes after a grueling day and a half campaign waged against the leader of the Midwing party, Addy MacDonald. The results leave Mr Jiao as the Prime Minister and his cabinet consisting of Mr Darryl Cheung, Mr Wyatt Fusick, Mr Mikeljan Deda, and Mr Lucas Finlay. Leaving the opposition leader as Addy MacDonald and her cabinet consisting of Tim and Mx. Cat. The first act of the new leader took was to federalize all property in order to make the country truly great.

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FROC’s Corrupt Government Refuses to Change

Written by: Youngsoo Kim

Simulated Country: FROC
School: Heritage Woods Secondary
Instructor: Mr. Paul Chaffee
Location: Port Moody, BC

The year 2001 recently dawned on the Federal Republic of Chaffestan. As the marking of another era, a new year generally leads to new beginnings
and new resolutions –
in other words, it is a time of change.

Prime Minister Josh Cheng of the Peace Love and Happiness Party made clear in the House of Commons earlier this week that change is of no concern to his government. Certainly, he is interested in feigning change, and conning the citizens of FROC into believing it is actually occurring, but the idea of enacting change itself is simply foreign to him.

During the legislative procedures, Cheng and his MPs announced the creation of six bills in addition to so-called “revisions” to old bills, such as last year’s E/I bill. While these announcements were at first touted as improvements, it is in this writer’s opinion that they would do nothing to solve FROC’s problems. For example, the new Residences Bill initially demanded all rent prices capped at $950, a needlessly high number that would only lead to more citizens not being able to afford proper living conditions. Also launched was the Welfare Bill, which was to be funded by donations from FROC’s wealthiest citizens and the government deciding on which citizens would receive support. This immediately posed several issues, namely the discriminatory attitude towards the destitute.

Cheng’s government also outright ignored other problems plaguing FROC, primarily the wealth gap. It remains the biggest source of destruction to this country’s stability. The richest citizen of FROC has a whopping $18,207 more than the second richest citizen, and a good $10,671 more than the government itself. The fact that Josh Cheng and his government is spinning their wheels while a good fraction of the population is toiling in poverty is outrageous. In this writer’s opinion, despite the government’s trumpeting of all these faux-changes, it is plain to see that our leaders remains the same wolf under a different sheep’s clothing.

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Rebellion Forming in Froggy Chair

Written by: Kelsey Bateman

Simulated Country: Froggy Chair
School: Prescott Learning Centre
Instructor: Mrs. Christy Haggarty
Location: Spruce Grove, AB

With the election being recently finished in the land of Froggy Chair, the hex auction was expected to be an exciting affair with few alliances. This was not the case. There was talk of a “gang” that had been spread before and during the election, but it was only from a few select citizens. The CFC party ended up winning the election and formed majority government, with The Afterparty as the official opposition.

Throughout the hex auction, however, multiple citizens banded together to form what they called an “anarchy”. The anarchy began to pool together money in order to bet against the government. The government had promised in their platform that they would own the E/I hex, but the anarchy bidded over $10 000, until the government came out victorious after spending $11 000 on the valuable hex. Later in the day, they began to put up posters promoting their rebellion, including defacing the CFC party’s posters. As an MP and part of the CFC myself, I decided to ask member of the Afterparty and active member of the rebellion Victoria on her views. She said that the rebellion was formed “for fun”. When asked the goals of the rebellion, she responded simply “still deciding”. I’m very interested to see how this plays out, and I look forward to updating as the story continues.


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Is Greed Killing Sporknife?

Written by: Eli Ziehr

Simulated Country: Sporknife Island
School: St Peter the Apostle
Instructor: Mrs. Lenna Zimmer
Location: Spruce Grove, AB

Shalom Sporknifians, I have noticed a prominent issue plaguing our beautiful nation for a while now. The issue I am suggesting is one born from the greed of one particular private Farm Hex owner. I am sure the citizens of Sporknife are aware of what I am talking about now, because it is predicted that many family members will die from starvation if Farm owner James can’t set aside his lust for wealth for the better of the people. It has been a lengthy dispute between the Government and James according to officials I have asked about this, despite the Government being clear with citizens regarding it’s goal to nationalize the Food and Energy industry to secure low prices for everyone. It is a shame that despite the Government’s interest in feeding everyone and keeping prices down, James continues to try to gouge the Government with co-ownership deals and high prices with no regard for the starving families of his fellow Sporknifians. I think I speak for everyone when I say that families all over Sporknife need to eat, and that will not be possible with this current greed. For the sake of Sporknife’s well being, I hope we can all agree that prosperity of our people should take priority over the wallets of businessmen and that an appropriate deal needs to be struck soon. We all have to stay resilient in the face of scarcity. Stay safe, fellow Sporknifians.
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Black Panther News: Important Electoral Information

Written by: Ashley D

Simulated Country: St. Wakanda
Instructor: Mr. Kris Christianson
Location: Edmonton, AB

Good evening my fellow St. Wakandians and welcome to the first issue of Black Panter News! This will be a (bi?)weekly newspaper covering important events in our country. In this article we will cover the results of our first ever election. After the debate, the NWO party won the majority of the seats in the House of Commons and Alex became the first Prime Minister. Josh became the leader of the Opposition, and Hazea and I became the only girls in Parliament. This is the list of people who made it to the House of Commons: Alex, Reece, Caio, Noah, Josh, Hazea, and Ashley.

Congratulations to everyone who made it in and thank you to everyone who voted and voiced their opinion. This was certainly an interesting experience. I am really excited to see what kind of laws we pass and I am looking forward to whatever this year will bring us. Thank you for tuning in to Black Panther News, have a great day.

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Corrupt Government Rules Lawless Country

Written by: Jessica Bear

Simulated Country: Concoria
School: Centennial Collegiate & Vocational Institute
Instructor: Ms. Katie Gad
Location: Guelph, ON

After elections the public quickly released that their government only wanted money, making only one rule that made them the only ones in control of all. Boasting about their recent “success” they spent their time relaxing. Making no laws, trade is unfair and pricey. The public races agents each other for the peanuts so that they have money. Will this government make the country bankrupt? Will the country be poor and begging for food? Will the government even stay in power? Will the public retaliate? Will the next government be better? What is in store for Concoria.

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ECC Prime Minister Does Not Care About Sick Kids

Written by: Bruce Scott

Simulated Country: ECC
School: Abbey Park High School
Instructor: Ms. Melissa Sinclair
Location: Oakville, ON

This developing story is as shocking as it sounds! The government of the island country ECC has just denied a developer electricity to build a hospital for sick kids. At this time we don’t quite know where the electricity was sent but it definitely wasn’t for sick children. This whole situation is outrageous and just goes to show how unfair the world can be sometimes.

The developers name is Bruce Scott, the developer was going to clear a small area in the north-east sector of ECC to build a hospital. Scott has the money but needs electricity for the development. Other “hexes” are currently being developed with this electricity but it is for factory’s, not hospitals. This whole situation is outrageous.

I think we can all learn a lesson from this. The lesson is that we can’t let power get in the way of our moral compass. To any other citizen, factory over hospital would sound crazy. But maybe not to a power hungry prime minister, help us here at ECC news stop this disgraceful situation.

Keep checking the news feed for current updates on this developing story.

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Sporknife Island Hosts Intense Auction For Land

Written by: Kieran MacDonell

Simulated Country: Sporknife Island
School: St Peter the Apostle
Instructor: Ms. Lenna Zimmer
Location: Spruce Grove, AB

Shalom my fellow Sporknifians I am glad to present to you the first edition of my annual news articles which will be talking about the previous days news and events. The auction for land mass on the island of Sporknife occurred today at 11:00 mountain time and resulted in some interesting ownership’s. Some of the highlights from this auction includes a very exciting mixup/joke made from the lack of silence in the room making for a very tense and serious moment of voting to determine whether, I, KieranM should pay 6000$ for a river hex with the outcome being no. Other highlights include bidding wars for a farm between KieranM and the government, for AndrewM’s apartment complex and finally, for the power unit between the government and JamesK. Some of the largest bids we saw today were from the wealthier of the peoples and some very notable and expensive ones being bought out from under the people by the government with the purchase of a farm for a record breaking 6,300$ and the power plant for 4,600$. Some amazing private bids that were among the most expensive are by: AndrewM for an apartment complex, JamesK for a farm, KieranM for education and EliZ for Medical services. The cheapest buys of the day were made by: MackenzieM for a green hex, NoahK for a river hex, AmberD for a house and BrianaSaskiw with a mansion. Some questions people were walking away with include the major question of how the Government will acquire such sociable things like health care for themselves with the low budget they have been left with by Prime Minister KrystianP. Will the government buy shares in the units they believe should be public and owned by them? Or will they forcefully try to take these hexes by intimidation or by hiring hackers to exploit and acquire these hexes? We have to all remain sturdy in this time of uncertainty and make sure to protect our computers and make sure they are not left unattended. Don’t forget to read up on the news everyday and protect your computer.!!!!

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The Authoritarian State of Isle of Geoff

Written by: Spencer Diver

Simulated Country: Isle of Geoff
School: Bluevale Collegiate Institute
Instructor: Mr. Sahil Kumar
Location: Waterloo, ON

The Surprise Party of the Isle of Geoff was elected into power and seemingly seemed like a normal party. Their policies were very similar to the opposition party, the Reformed Party. They had little to worry about for the citizens of Isle of Geoff. However, once they were elected into power, the true side of the party reared its head.

The very beginning of the first House of Commons meeting started the change. It was time for the voting of the judge in our nation, and it was aked of everyone to put down their heads to vote, they would then be tallied to see the most popular candidate. After the votes were counted, Spencer Diver, historian and journalist… and lawyer, was elected to be judge by a large margin. But, in a blatant disrespect of liberty and the feelings of the people, they ignored this vote and instead had citizen JimmyNokeo take his place. This, was the beginning of a series of totalitarian actions from our leader.

During the meeting of the House of Commons proper, laws were put into place that heavily restricted the freedoms of the people. Not only were there laws that would not allow people to make contracts without direct approval from the government, they also instituted a law that if a person was found guilty of a serious crime, would be stripped of their property and fined of $1000, without even letting them be in a welfare program. This would not only not allow them to be able to feed their family, punishing their family for the actions of one person in it, but this sentence would not help people recover from their mistakes, because their property would be taken by the government, which would be way too expensive to purchase.

In this humble journalist’s opinion, this great nation’s government should not be one that oppresses its people into submisson. And I believe that many of the people here think this as well. So, in conclusion, this is my recommendation to those who want better. Speak up. It’s that simple.

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